Wonder
‘Trolls Say My Disabled Husband Can’t Satisfy Me, But They’re Wrong’
She complimented my humor and what we had in common.
An inter-abled couple addresses the negative, rude comments they occasionally get when it comes to their bedroom life. 29-year-old Shane Burcaw’s whole life is confined to the electric wheelchair, but he and his wife, Hannah, disagree when people think they can’t have sex.
Shane was born with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), a disease that causes his muscles to deteriorate over time.
Six years ago, Hannah reached out to Shane through an email after watching a documentary done by ‘The Office’ star Rainn Wilson on Shane’s life. They tied the knot in September 2020, but people doubt they could enjoy an intimate relationship despite their endless display of affection like able-bodied couples do.
“They perceive that I can’t have sex in their very limited, missionary, man f**ks woman… They think that is the be-all-end-all of sex,” Shane replied to the rude comments.
Hannah said, “We definitely get a lot of comments from straight men thinking it’s not fair that I’m with Shane, and that I should be with them.” However, the extent of these comments would go as far as including the details of the deed they’d like to do to her.
“Little do they know,” Shane said proudly.
“Laughing At Your Ableist BS” episode by StyleLikeU also has the pair slowly strips throughout the 22-minute interview.
Recalling what Hannah’s first email was like, Shane gushed, “Almost every email I received told me that I was an inspiration — and not in a good way. Hannah’s email didn’t reference my disability at all.”
“She complimented my humor and what we had in common. She used parentheses in her email in a way that like just did it for me.”
But Hannah, who was still in college, often incurred the jealousy of Shane, who still lived with his parents during the time they were dating. He admitted, “I felt like a cliché, like the jealous disabled guy who can’t be there and is worried his mega-hot girlfriend is gonna find a better mega-hot guy.”
The pair had had their own share of history, with Shane having all of his ended because his partners’ family and friends were convinced he’d be a burden to them.
Crushes and interests were things Hannah had, but she’s never had a serious boyfriend before. She said, “I hadn’t met anybody that I really wanted that much time with.”
Throughout the session, Hannah also shows how she carries Shane to the couch to help him take off his pants.
Shane made it clear to Hannah that he needs help in also all aspects of his life and Hannah understood. In fact, she was serious about being able to take care of him so they could live alone.
As a disabled man, Shane is also often misunderstood to have gone out with a mother or a caregiver.
“When I do say, ‘No, this is my wife.’ People’s jaws hit the floor, and they say, ‘Oh, wow, good for you.'”
On the other hand, Hannah feels that she gets overly complimented for staying with Shane. To her, they insinuated that Shane was a “terrible choice,” and her husband nodded to this by adding that he knows the general consensus on disabled people like him “don’t have any value.”
“I developed a very thick skin early on. I think that’s kind of where my sense of humor and my sarcasm were born from because otherwise, I’d be upset every day.”
That includes their bedroom life, which people believe must be unsatisfactory. But they both disagree.
“Our intimacy benefits from my disability. A big thing for me is that our intimacy is not just me enjoying it, and that relates to my burden complex,” Shane explained.
“It doesn’t look like what you see in the movies, maybe, but I can totally do it.”
Shane’s sense of humor strikes as he talks about how he stops others from eyeing his wife, “A non-disabled man might come up to Hannah and start rubbing her shoulders. I will just say, ‘Hey, you want to go have sex?'”
“I know that would probably strike people as, “Oh, that must be unromantic,” but take our word for it. After I ask that, we’re romantic.”
“We have a shorthand for all of these things,” they continued explaining. “You’re not saying, “Can you please put your legs up under my legs.” We just know. I feel like I know his body and preferences as well as I know my own.”
Hannah couldn’t emphasize more how she felt comfortable with Shane and added, “I cannot overstate how like little space I need from Shane.”
“I know that our life is and will continue to be hilarious and fun and full of adventure,” said Shane confidently, “I feel for the first time in my life like I am not a burden because Hannah is wholly there for me and doesn’t feel burdened by me.”
Listen to their full interview below!
