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“My Boyfriend Wants Me To Move In With Him And Split Rent 50-50, Even Though He Makes $500k”

Relationship

“My Boyfriend Wants Me To Move In With Him And Split Rent 50-50, Even Though He Makes $500k”

Do you see red flags, or is the BF reasonable?

A woman’s boyfriend proposes a 50-50 split for rent even though he knows her family will be the ones footing the bill. The GF @ThrowRA9876234 took to Reddit to share this ordeal and claimed she’s graduating from college, will explore grad school options, and will have to live off her family’s support in the meantime. 

The 22-Year-Old has been dating her 32-Year-Old boyfriend a little over two years ago. 

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via Nathan McBride

She explained her BF makes about $300K yearly and just received a job offer in a city across the country that would pay him over $500,000 yearly with bonuses. He wants her to move with him to the new town, and even though she’s OK with the idea, even though it’s not her first choice of places to live, the woman finally settled with attending school in the new city.

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Reddit

“The only issue is, he wants me to pay half the rent and half of all our expenses. This would amount to around 2,500 per month.”

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via Francesca Tosolini

“My family is capable of providing me with his money, but we are not exorbitantly wealthy, so it is a lot of money for us. My family also thinks it is really unreasonable for my boyfriend to ask me to pay these expenses when he makes enough money to support both of us easily. My boyfriend thinks it is completely reasonable for my family to pay these expenses for me.”

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Reddit

People in the comments, without hesitation, pointed out numerous red flags. Some people offered an essential rule for anyone considering living with a partner who makes significantly more or less than they do. It’s urged that couples splitting rent evenly go by what the person who makes the least can afford. 

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Ayo Ogunseinde

@iamnoking wrote: “This is how it works when couples want to split living expenses evenly. YOU LIVE ON WHAT THE LOWEST-PAID PERSON CAN AFFORD!!! It doesn’t matter if he makes $500,000 a year and can afford a $5,000 a month apartment. You make the least, so you guys can only live at what you can comfortably pay.”

A few couldn’t imagine themselves loving someone and not wanting to make that person’s life easier.

@whatdoyoumeancookie wrote: “Where I come from, we share our excess wealth with loved ones; we don’t send them a bill. I would be so offended by this if I were you. Please go to grad school somewhere else and get your own life going. You’re gonna be awesome.”

@iamnoking again wrote: “If money is a sticking point for your boyfriend, you guys may be incompatible. Everyone is different, but I could never imagine not wanting to help my husband in any way possible. When he was finishing his master’s, I knew he couldn’t afford to go out on dates the way we used to when he worked full time. I was fine with that. I tried to pay for dates and pick up the slack. I made time to have dates in his lab and at school etc. You try to make things work with people you people and care about, you don’t hold them up to impossible standards.”

Redditors worried about the age gap between the woman and her boyfriend, especially with their careers and the power imbalance it might result in.

@stinkbomb6 wrote: “Deeply consider why a man who is so far into his career that he makes $300,000 per year and is about to go up to $500,000 is dating a college senior.”

@s4ddymcsadface wrote: “I want you, my much younger girlfriend who hasn’t yet entered the workforce, to move across the country with me. I will be choosing where we live and how much it costs, and it will be at a level I am comfortable with paying. I also want you to foot half the bill for the place I choose. There are at least three types of power imbalance here: his age, his wealth, and the fact that he’s assumed the position of making all your joint decisions for both of you.”

“On what planet is this reasonable? Either you decide how much to pay since you’re ALREADY compromising if you move for his job, or he pays for the place he wants. Really, you should sit, have a discussion about the living standards you both want, how much you can afford, and come to a comprise before you even consider starting at look at places.”

Others questioned what kind of person would comfortably ask their partner’s family for such a thing.

@Upper-Substance38868 wrote: “He makes $500,000, which is enough money for him to cover you while you finish school. If he truly loved you, he would want to take the burden away from your family and show them how much he loves you. This is a slap in your face, asking you to pay half of the expenses.”

@w11flow3r wrote: “It’s unrealistic for him to want you to move across the country and adopt this much higher standard of living and put that type of financial burden on you and your family. Twelve months of $2,500 equals $30,000. So he is expecting your family to shell out $30,000 just in living expenses for you – not counting whatever discretionary spending you may need while he pays less than 10% of his salary on living expenses and has literally hundreds of thousands of dollars to play with and save. That’s completely unacceptable, in my opinion.”

Someone else wants the woman to consider if going to a school in the city with her BF is more important than attending her first choice in graduate schools.

@recyclopath wrote: “Should I uproot my life and move for him? Should I model the rest of my education around him? Should I not take advantage of every opportunity I have in order to stay in a relationship with him? When you’re 22, the answer to all of those questions is always Never!”

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