Celebrity
Elliot Page Reveals How Juno ‘Almost Killed Him’ Before Coming Out
“I wasn’t OK and I didn’t know how to talk about that with anyone.”
Before coming out as a transgender, Elliot Page had constantly wanted to flee from his body and would even experience severe panic attacks when asked to wear certain dresses to public events. The star has also admitted acting as pregnant Juno MacGuff in the 2007 film and promoting it almost killed him. He had propelled into the spotlight after starring in the movie alongside Michael Cera, Jason Bateman, and Jennifer Garner.
Elliot shared he suffered from intense depression and anxiety and would struggle with food, losing so much weight he collapsed multiple times.
“When Juno was at the height of its popularity, during an awards-season time, I was closeted, dressed in heels and the whole look – I wasn’t OK, and I didn’t know how to talk about that with anyone. I wish people would understand that s**t literally did almost kill me. In my early to mid-20s, I didn’t know how to tell people how unwell I was. I would berate myself for it,” Elliot said in an interview with Esquire.
In December 2020, 35-Year-Old Elliot came out as a trans, thirteen years after shooting to global stardom.
He added: “I was living the life and my dreams were coming true and all that was happening. I struggled with food, intense depression, anxiety and severe panic attacks. Can I relate to the suicide problem among trans people? Yeah, I can relate deeply. And not only to the very conscious, direct act of doing it but also to certain times when I lost so much weight or when I was having severe panic attacks and collapsed multiple times – all these things that very easily could and statistically do, lead to death.”
“There were moments of wanting to not be here. I would look out the window of my apartment and think ‘With everything going on right now and how incredible it all is; this is how I feel like? And I’m 22? It was like, I don’t know if I could do it.”
Elliot recalled an incident when he was told by production company Fox Searchlight he had to wear a dress to the LA Premiere of Juno, despite him asking to sport a suit instead. But he added people have since apologized to him for forcing him to wear something girly, stating they didn’t know he was transgender at the time. The movie star continued, saying they shouldn’t have dictated the clothes he wore, regardless of his sexuality, and branded it extremely f**ked and gross.
He called coming out to the world and finally becoming his true self indescribable, adding that he never imagined he’d feel this way.
Elliot gushed: “I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself. It’s indescribable. ‘The greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present. To go out in a group of new people and be able to engage in a way where I didn’t feel this constant sensation to flee from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiety and nervousness and wanting out. I thought it was impossible how I’m able to feel now … I could not picture myself as a woman aging.”
Elliot said transphobia is so extreme that he remembered when a big dude started screaming at him and calling him a ‘f****t’ while he was trying to cross the street. Out of fear the man would retaliate, Elliot revealed he didn’t respond and stood completely still, staring straight ahead as the man yelled: “You f****t! Don’t look at me! You f****t, f****t! I’m gonna kill you, you f**king f****t! I’m gonna kill you, you f**king f****t! I’m gonna gay-bash you. This is why I need a gun.”
Growing up, Elliot was bullied by his classmates, which he said had a long-lasting effect on his mental health.
He further admitted that getting teased and called names daily often got in his head, especially since he was already feeling so much shame. He added that the bullies left many s**t’ that he had to dig through and unlearn in his adult life. While Elliot is currently excited about his future, he hasn’t forgiven everyone who hurt him in his past.
