Parenting
Mom Perfectly Explains How Children ‘Don’t Owe Their Parents Anything’, And It Goes Viral
“They might not owe them respect either.”
As someone’s child, some of you might need to hear this now. And some of you are probably wondering if you’re reading for parenting. Lisa P shares an unconventional idea about parent-child relationships, and it’s truly liberating for many.
With 7 million views, Lisa dropped the fact on some adults that would almost definitely come at her:
Lisa, who went viral on the platform, got an interview with Buzzfeed where she shared more on her thoughts about the parenting dynamic and a child’s role in the family.
“You don’t get a participation trophy for housing your child or keeping your child clean,” she declared. “The whole ‘roof over your head’ argument is manipulative because, in theory, wouldn’t you have had a place to live for yourself regardless of if you had children?
“A kid isn’t a freeloading roommate; they’re your dependent and your responsibility.”
Children aren’t your guarantor for a peaceful life in later days when you’re older; they’re their own people.
I got a lot of comments on my video about setting boundaries with my mom from older women who reiterated the message: You should be grateful for everything your mother’s done for you. Like somehow, setting boundaries with someone means you don’t love or appreciate what they’ve done for you.
Here’s what’s going to piss people off: children don’t owe their parents a certain kind of relationship. And depending on the parent, they might not owe them respect either, because that sh** is reciprocal,
There is definitely a different dynamic between an adult parent and a child, who’s still a child, but once that kid is an adult, that person is a fully formed human being. And all “sh** they did for you” is parenting, which is what you signed up for.
A parent’s job is to provide for their children – it’s a responsibility. Not everybody rises to the occasion, but taking care of your kid’s physical and financial needs is like the bare minimum. Level above that is the emotional needs, which good parents do.
But all of that is not a contingent relationship. You’re not loving and providing for your children with the expectation that they will blindly obey and do whatever you say as adults. Honestly, if you’re raising your kids well and you’re an emotionally mature person, you don’t want them to blindly just accept things that are not good for them.
I have kids, and me and my husband have had this conversation, that hopefully, we do a good enough job raising our kids and fostering a good relationship and a solid family unit so that our kids will want to have relationships with us when they’re adults.
But the kicker is you don’t get to pick your kids. You don’t get to pick who they are, or the struggles they have, or their personalities. So there is a chance that they move to, like, Norway and don’t wanna hang out? Yeah. Is there a chance that they’re completely not like us and don’t ever wanna talk to us again? I hope not, but it’s possible.
They’re people. I feel like you don’t get that they’re people and they don’t owe you sh** because you took care of them. If you raise them right, meaning you have a solid foundation and a good relationship, you will get that benefit back when they’re grown.
“But if you f**k it up, that’s on you.”
People share just how much they agree with her words because controlling your children as if they’re your assets, ain’t it.
An eye-opening thought for many, but a selfish desire for some; what are your thoughts?
@itsme_lisap Already anticipating the Karen’s in the comments #parenting #parentsoftiktok #parentchildrelationship #respect #boundaries original sound – Lisa P
