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“My Closest Cousin Told Me To ‘Lose Some Weight Or No Maid Of Honor Duties’ So I Ditched Her Wedding”

Body Positivity

“My Closest Cousin Told Me To ‘Lose Some Weight Or No Maid Of Honor Duties’ So I Ditched Her Wedding”

“I felt insulted. Our friend said she felt insulted on my behalf too.”

Olive Chiemerie had no choice but to steer clear of her cousin’s wedding after giving her an ultimatum to either lose weight or there would be no place for her as a maid of honor. For context, this cousin and the Nigerian-based are the only children but grew up in the same house, raised by Olivia’s parents and grandma. 

In essence, they are sisters & could pass as siblings. 

via Olive Chiemerie

“So I guess going by the bond I thought we shared, I naturally assumed I’d be her maid of honor. It was supposed to be non-negotiable, but she didn’t ask me. I also didn’t want to have to ask her, firmly believed it’d be me. The conversation came up last week while we and our mutual friend were discussing wedding details,” Olive, according to BuzzFeed, explained. 

via Olive Chiemerie

Olive added: “She said she’s contemplating which of her light-skinned, slim friends to ask to be maid of honor.”  

via Olive Chiemerie

“I was stunned. Our mutual friend was stunned too. What?? She said yes, she doesn’t want me because I am fat and would ruin the maid of honor aesthetics that it’s usually slender, light-skinned girls who get to be maid of honor. I felt insulted. Our friend said she felt insulted on my behalf too. If it were that she felt she had a friend she was closer with whom she shared a bond much greater than the one we did, I’d understand because, of course, that we’re related shouldn’t be the sole determinant, but it was just about the aesthetics.”

via Olive Chiemerie

Taking to Twitter to share her ordeal, Olive said: “Have to lose some weight before December or no maid of honor duties for me. I shan’t be attending the wedding.”

via zioraife/Twitter

She also said: “My family will swear I’m wicked and no-nonsense cos I reward meanness with the same level of vim.” 

via zioraife/Twitter

Expectedly, people in the comments had much to say about the subject matter. Most didn’t approve of the cousin’s ultimatum and remained supportive of Olive’s decision not to attend the wedding. Some revealed they were asked to be a maid of honor for superficial reasons and reinforced the point that some brides may care too much about the wrong thing. Others complimented her beauty, and a few reportedly asked her on dates on the wedding days.

She further expressed in her interview with BuzzFeed: “I told her [the cousin] I wouldn’t be attending the wedding because if she felt so ashamed of me and embarrassed by me – who’s to say my presence alone wouldn’t destroy the wedding aesthetics?”

via Olive Chiemerie

“She said I was overreacting because it really wasn’t that deep, that it was her choice to make. Of course it was her choice to make. I just thought [of me being the maid of honor] was an obvious choice. Perhaps it’s my bad to assume? I should add that I wasn’t particularly enthused by the maid of honor part, I wasn’t overly looking forward to it, my angst and hurt isn’t because I don’t get to be maid of honor, I’m not upset about that. It’s the fact that she not only didn’t think me worthy, but she also doesn’t realize or understand why it hurt me.”

via Olive Chiemerie

Olive continued: “I’ve heard of brides hiring models from modeling agencies to be their bridesmaids here in Nigeria, apparently it’s great for the aesthetics and it makes them money at these weddings. Men are likely to spray more money.”

via Olive Chiemerie

Bride’s Magazine reported that money spraying is a tradition in Nigerian weddings where guests encircle the couple on the dance floor and come forward, placing the bill on the couple’s forehead, permitting them to rain down. Of the responses on Twitter, Olive expressed: “It’s all been incredibly heartwarming, but it’s hilarious. All I tweeted was that I was told I couldn’t be a maid of honor because I was fat. Nowhere did it say I was ugly or unattractive.”

via Olive Chiemerie

“But I don’t think that assumption of my self-esteem being assaulted was unfounded, because fat women have always been made to feel inadequate, leading to their self-esteem being in shambles.”

via Olive Chiemerie

“That’s fortunately not true in my case. I’m gorgeous. It’s not something I say because of ‘body positivity,’ I am actually gorgeous. I think my body is exquisite, and I carry myself elegantly, knowing this. It’s probably a miracle that at this point, I still think so highly of me and my body, but I do, this body is all I have and I’m not about to let anyone make me hate it.” Olive concluded she loves her body despite being fat because it’s her, and if she decides to embark on a weight loss journey, she would not because she hated her fat body nor to feel better about herself, nor to cower to pressure. 

via Olive Chiemerie

She affirmed: “I will love this body in every shape, every form.” 

via Olive Chiemerie

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