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20 Married People Share Things They Never Knew About Their Spouse Until AFTER The Marriage


20 Married People Share Things They Never Knew About Their Spouse Until AFTER The Marriage

The farts and the birthmark.

Dating someone and marrying them are two completely different things. It’s one to feel flutters when you go on dates on the weekend and text each other on workdays. But once you start cohabitating, you learn things that you didn’t know were also part of them.

Marriage is all about making things work despite the differences. Sometimes, those differences do make relationships stronger. But they could also break it. These 20 stories from Reddit from people who learned something beyond their imaginations after entering the marriage stage tell us things we should ask our partner before taking the big step.


“I didn’t realize until after we lived together that she can’t keep the bathroom floor dry. When she showers, I feel as though half of the time, she points the showerhead at the ground outside the shower.

When she gets out, I imagine her shaking her body off in canine fashion. If she washes her face at the sink, I visualize her saying ‘one handful of water for me, one handful for you’ (to the floor).”


“He has a watermelon problem. Like. He will sit down and eat an ENTIRE F***ING 12 pound watermelon.

Then get VERY ill, spend half the day pissing, complain about his awful stomach ache, curl up and writhe around for a while…then GO BACK to scavenging the rind for any bits he missed.

He is a 100 lb Irish dude. I don’t know how this addiction hasn’t killed him. I didn’t find out about it until last year. We’ve been together for seven.

I need to supervise him when we go shopping, so he only buys the mini watermelons. If I leave him alone? He buys the biggest one he can find. I mean watermelons are delicious, but dear god.”

Watermelon Hungry GIF - Watermelon Hungry Starving GIFs


“He knew women had periods. He had no idea periods involved blood. He thought it was just abdominal cramping or something. We even lived together for a year before we got married, and he never figured this out until after we were married when we got a new dresser. I threw all the underwear, both his and mine in the same drawer since it was a smaller dresser. He saw my bloodstained period panties and started crying because he thought I was dying and had been hiding it from him. I then had to explain to my 28-year-old husband what exactly a period is.

He did have a legitimate reason to fear I might be dying. I was in the hospital a month earlier to have surgery on my spleen and liver. Also, he comes from a country where it is really offensive and taboo to talk about women’s reproductive issues, even with girlfriends, family, or spouses.”floppysharktitties88


“I’ll give you one from my wife (who doesn’t have an account). She didn’t realize just how much I love talking to her.

We have been married almost nine years, and it was just six months ago that she was homesick and I had a day off from school & work (very rare), and she hears my phone alarm go off…

She was like, WTF is that going off for? Me, looking sheepish…it means you’re off work, and I can call you in about 5 minutes.

She thought it was adorable and told everyone in her office the next day :-\”

So Sweet Aww GIF - So Sweet Aww Golden Girls GIFs


“She takes soup can-sized dumps. Not kidding. It’s disgusting. The girthiness of the poop clogs the toilet, and I have to unclog it. On top of that, I have a horrible gag reflex, so I think she enjoys it. Also, I don’t get how a Campbell-sized sh** comes out of her. She is 5’2″ and weighs 90lbs.”roegrwilco99


“That she doesn’t close any doors! Getting a glass for a drink? Door stays open! Getting silverware? Drawer stays open! Taking a sh**? Door stays open!

It’s 4 am and you are getting ready for work. What’s that??

You Need To Close That Door Paul Freeman GIF - You Need To Close That Door Paul Freeman Warren Byrne GIFs


“We have been together 15 years and married for 7, we are watching TV the other day and someone starts speaking German and there are no subtitles – he translates it like it’s no big thing. I’m like who ARE you? Apparently, he’s watched so many war movies he speaks conversational German.”jessicalinn


“Not quite after we were married, but I did my best to never fart around my wife while we were dating. I kept this up for a good six months. Then I guess I figured it was safe; if she left me at that point just because of my farts then it wasn’t meant to be. The first time I farted around her I swear she seriously considered leaving me. I wouldn’t have blamed her either because my farts are very very VERY smelly sometimes.

We have now been married 7 years and have a son and twin daughters on the way. Also, smelly farts appear to be genetic.”


“Not about my SO but about me. Apparently, I have a birthmark on my **s that looks just like a sh** smear. I didn’t know that until two weeks into the marriage she tells me about my permanent skid mark and that “I saw it when we first started dating and I really did think it was poo. It took me seeing it three or four times before I realized it was a birthmark. See I’ll always love you!” God, I love that woman.”cstanford94


“Not me, but my cousin changed her last name to her husband’s 10 days after they met.

She didn’t tell him this until they were married for 3 years and had a kid already. She said that looking back on it, it looks psychotic. Yet, getting your name changed after filling out the paperwork for being a teacher is apparently a b**ch to do. She figured she met ‘The One’ (not Jet Li), so she took his last name.

…I couldn’t stop laughing as she told me this story. Just wanted to share that.”


“Literally 5 seconds ago I learned that my husband didn’t know women have to wipe after peeing.”Lutya


“That she can have an orgasm just by thinking about it. Yeah, amazing.”TheManInTheShack


“Not marriage, but after engagement… His father brings us to a meeting to explain to me that my now-husband is the 23rd generation firstborn son since the beginning of the family, thus insinuating that I would be f**ked if I didn’t give birth to a boy.

We have a daughter.”


“I met my husband online–OkCupid. I found out right before we got married, after dating for 5 years and living together for 3, that the picture of him posted on the site was staged–a profile of him using a camera timer in his room alone while holding a beer and talking to no one. I don’t know which cracks me up more that I couldn’t tell or that he kept the secret for so long.”asleepawhile


“A few years ago, after about 15 years as a couple, 7 years of marriage, and one child together, I accidentally found out that my husband is a huge Star Trek fan. I walked into our bedroom one day and he quickly changed the TV station, so naturally, I asked what he was watching. He reluctantly confessed and was obviously very embarrassed to have to tell me that he watches Star Trek all the time when he is alone.

I find it hilarious that he was so embarrassed about that after all those years. To this day he won’t watch the TV show or older movies with me; he says I ask too many questions.”2babybirdies

I Have Absolutely No Idea Liz Lemon GIF - I Have Absolutely No Idea Liz Lemon Tina Fey GIFs


“My husband has some kind of crazy allergic mutation that makes lemons like sulfuric acid on his tongue. For serious, his tongue gets burned. To be fair, he didn’t know that was unusual until after we got married. My fav dessert is lemon bars and he thought I just liked burning my own face off. Cute twist: he would still make and eat lemon bars with me every year for my birthday until we found out. Then he got lemonbanned.”thetofuprincess


“That he knew how to ballroom dance and took a cake decorating course for an art credit. I learned it the same night. I couldn’t decorate cupcakes and he took over. Later at the event, he grabbed me and waltzed perfectly.

Can’t wait for the next few years.”


“While we were dating, my husband always told me this story about how he used to race dirt bikes and wrecked one time so badly that he had to have surgery to reconstruct his nose. I had wondered why he looked so different in his younger pictures. Anyway, it wasn’t until we had been married several years that his mother heard me mentioning that story and how scary that must have been for her, worrying about her son…and she didn’t know what I was talking about. The truth was that he never wrecked a dirt bike and his nose looked different because he had been ashamed of his larger-than-average Italian nose, so she saved up her money to buy him a nose job.”diggyrules


“That my husband did not know the Northern and Southern Hemispheres experienced opposite seasons. I love him. I do not want our children to be in the same school district he was.”tayloreep


“That she had been married 6 other times. (yes, that’s a six). She said, “Only two counted because they lasted more than a year”. I thought I was denied some critical need to know information.”Pb_Foot

What Seriously GIF - What Seriously Confused GIFs

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