the right design and construction of one’s home can be really challenging,
especially as it requires avoiding flaws.
With home constructions poorly designed with twists and turns, a certified caulk installer, Trevor Lahey – popularly called Greaseball1987 has proven to have a harsh sense of humor.
Known for his deadpan captions, Trevor uses his Instagram account to collect hilarious bad constructions and DIY jobs. Playing the role of the worker, he presents his projects with tongue-in-the-cheek tips and hints, while also showering praise on his own cleverness.
Mostly concluding his post with stereotypical hashtags, including #problemsolver, #keepcraftalive, and #themoreyouknow, they are his favorite ones.
“Generally speaking toilets are poorly designed, way too many twists and turns. I like to elevate the shitter as much as possible so when you’re dropping bombs it’s a straight drop to the city! Feeling like a Gargoyle up on your perch is just a bonus!”
“Customer safety is always a top priority of mine. With no hesitation, I always add a couple of extra screws to make sure the plates don’t fall off. Electrocution is a very serious issue which I do not take lightly”
“Some tasks are easier than they look! This task is just as easy as it looks. I opted to add the stopper a little lower because I know overtime the door will sag and I ain’t interested in callbacks! I’m always thinking ahead; probably why I am so successful!”
“I love it when my clients send me pictures of my work after I have left. It really shows how satisfied they are with the work!”
“I don’t know about you but I have spent hours looking at dank memes on the shitter only to have my battery die! That is why I have decided to add outlets on all my toilets for charging purposes so I can keep the party going!”
“I’ve mastered the 90-degree corner so I was excited about the challenge of trimming this radius. I guess I’m a master of doing the radius also! Special shout out to home depot for making all these cuts for me!”
“Customer refused to pay my hourly rate; instead he opted to pay per fitting. I was a little hesitant at first but I think this might be the better way to charge! I made a fortune off this job”
“I had a customer looking to increase the window size at his store. His sales are down and he thinks it is possibly related to the lack of natural light in the showroom! Frankly, I agree! I put in this massive window which has tripled the natural light, inevitably tripling his sales also! “
“When looking for studs, I generally start as far away from my mounting location as possible and start sending screws home until I make a secure connection. Now when this satisfied customer is sitting back and watching re-runs of Two and a Half Men, they will remember how difficult the installation was, and will understand why my bill was so high!”
“Luxury at its finest. I added this soap shelf complimentary to the customer because we all know what happens when you drop the soap in the shower! You gotta bend over and pick it up, and nobody is having a good time doing that! I sometimes wonder if all these extra freebies I do are gonna crush my bottom line one day, my rates are so high though so I should be good!”
“I increased the size of this return air grille because I felt the existing grille was undersized! Sometimes you just need to return a little extra air to the furnace! The only way to keep it working properly!”
“Matching these old profiles can be next to impossible, I find if you try your best, and get it as close as possible, nobody is the wiser! I selected this profile which is practically identical, other than a few minor differences. If I didn’t point it out, you would never have noticed!”
“I always leave the barcode facing out. This way it stays clean and easily scannable when you decide to return the tiles”
“One of the shutters fell off my customer’s house. He asked if I could match existing. After all the excellent work I put out you’d think at this point humans would just know I can do anything. So once again I blew the socks right off the customer with my advanced set of skill”
“Turning a 1.5 bath home into a 2.5 bath is surprisingly easy. I’m surprised more humans don’t do it! It immediately increases the value of the home…. not to mention the cost savings on the water; I can be dropping a bomb simultaneously as my friend yet it’s only gonna take 6L to send them home!”
“You have to be careful when cutting into the structure. Always leave an inch at the bottom of the joist, this way it will retain its structure! By running this pipe through it, and spray foaming it all together the joist is stronger than when I started; stronger than the wood itself!”
“I started removing this tub surround so I could prep for tile and my oh my it was my lucky day. There was already a tile installed. After a quick tidy up, I’ll be submitting my bill and then onto the next one!”
“When installing vanities, I generally make a few reference holes so I can get my bearings in relation to the pipe. I usually get it in 4-6 holes, it doesn’t really matter if you go over though, as it’s the inside of the cabinet. When I’m done I caulk the holes so the rats can’t get through, and then toss a pack of sponges on top! In the end, no one is the wiser! “
“My customer wanted me to replace her deck with 1×1 deck tiles and she was ecstatic when I surprised her with 4×4 deck tiles. The customer’s reaction is why I constantly strive to outdo myself and exceed the high expectations that I have created for myself! And yes I built this deck a few years ago but she wanted a fresh look!”
“Home Depot only stocks 8′ lengths of laminate countertops so I had to make up this extension. I love doing custom work because it is so satisfying when you take a step back and see a job well done! The average person would not have been able to pull this off!”
“Ever been walking down the stairs and found out that your phone needed a charge!? I have come up with the solution! The best part is there is a built-in seat while you wait for your phone to finish charging. Comfort and convenience are key in this business! Don’t feel like waiting? You can safely tuck the cord and phone tight up against the kickboard, and it will be safe and out of the way!”
“Have you ever tried taking 2 buckets apart? It’s impossible; that’s why I always look to the bucket for all my HVAC needs! The wedge fit guarantees no heat loss, so it’s a no brainer!”
“When repairing cracks in facia panel, I always look to a dumper hinge for my repair! The play in the hinge allows enough movement but ridged enough to prevent further cracks. The best part is that the hinge allows for any future access required; just open the facia like a door and work with optimal access, and then just close her up when you’re done, and no one is the wiser!”
“I’m not sure why they make downspouts so large, I find it’s best to reduce the size of the opening, so less water comes out. That way there is less water to freeze, so you avoid those embarrassing slips and falls. I already have back problems from sitting on the toilet for so long looking at memes, I don’t need it from slipping and falling too”
“Keep those pesky drafts at bay with a tight bead of caulk! Think of the energy savings! The more money in my customers pocket means more billable hours on my invoice “